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Posted by / Monday, August 10, 2015 / No comments

Have you ever lost someone?

Have you ever lost someone you were close to? I have. 

A few weeks ago a very close friend of mine passed away, very suddenly. We hadn't talked in a few weeks because we both were off doing our own things, living life. 

I remember the moment I found out K was gone, the exact moment. The instant I learned what had happened, I felt like I was dying, I felt as if my heart had been broken, shattered into a million pieces. All of the oxygen around me seemed to of vanished and I couldn't breath, feeling as though I was drowning. The news seemed so unreal to me, I couldn't believe it, I just couldn't.

All of a sudden every memory we had together kept flashing in my mind. K and I had known each other for years, since I was in elementary and she was in middle school. We met when I first started roller skating competitively. Skate Across America was the skating group we were apart of, and she taught me so much during those years. K was my role model, I looked up to her. I wanted to be just like her because she was such an amazing girl. Almost every weekend we would have sleepovers, and in the summer time I would see her nearly every single day. During the winter times we would have a sleepover several weeks before Christmas and we would lay in bed watching holiday movies, and talking about what we wanted for Christmas that year. Then, after Christmas we would have a sleepover that next weekend and talk about what we got, and watch the same movies. We did this for several years, it was our little tradition. I loved that time of the year. 

We went on so many skating adventures together. San Diego, Kansas City, New Mexico, everywhere we went. She was like my big sister, always protecting me from stupid boys and giving me life advice. 

K and I have made so many memories together, memories I will never forget, ever. 

Life is so short, one day you can wake up and someone you love could be gone, forever. It is such a scary thought. Because, no one wants to lose somebody in their life. It is so hard to go on with life, but really what can you do? 

Death is a terrible thing, but it is inevitable. It is going to happen to everyone, that is just the way life works. When you lose someone in your life, you truly realize how short life is, and how you have to enjoy every single second. Life is precious, time is precious. 

It took me a while to understand her death, because I was so confused and lost. I couldn't accept the fact that she was gone. But K is gone, and that is the way it is. I realized that I don't have to forget her to move on with my life, I just have to learn to live with it. 

I still think about her every day, but it is getting easier to think about her and not cry. I miss her, and I hate the fact that she is gone, gone before I could say good-bye. But, it is what it is. Knowing she is in a better place makes it easier, it makes me able to smile. I truly believe she is in a better place, watching over me and everyone else. 

Rest in Paradise K. 
Forever in my heart, and thoughts. 

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My name is Alexis, but everyone calls me Lex. I made this blog to document my adventures and do what I love most, which is write.

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